Thursday, 18 February 2010

Learning to be lady-like

Some pointers for me...hinted by my well-wishers

1)Brushing my hair at least twice or thrice in a day
2)Avoid wearing wrinkled clothes and mis-matched payjamas (Ooops, Salwars or chudidars and something called legging is 'in'. Payjamas is so downmarket, snigger the polite ladies)
3)How about trying to sit with knees pressed together for 10 minutes in a day instead of split wide open? (Am trying. No luck, so far)
4)How about....ahem ahem...manicure and pedicure? (What's that supposed to mean?)
5)A touch of lipstick... (Eeeeeeeew... run for my dear life)
6)Waxing hands and... (It's too hot, I yell. And cold wax is too....icky)
7)Avoid walking with a heavy tread (Is the construction so shaky that it will collapse at my …....kg weight)
8)Greeting others politely ( I thought backslapping established instant camaraderie)
9)Talking in a low, soft tone. (I CAN'T HEAR YOU)
10)No picking nose. Why not carry a daintily embroidered hanky to blow your nose into?(Got it, got it)

Dear Lucy...

Dear Lucy,
Where would I be without you? You are a real friend...ensuring that I munch less on chips and run around and also exercise my vocal chords once in a while.
I do find it irritating when every time you see something edible in my hands, you make a rush at me, pawing and clawing. No amount of squealing, shouting or thumping works. You are really very determined. On most occasions I have to give up bakarwadi (something which I really like) or chocolates and see you falling upon it greedily. You give it one final lick, and look up at me again hoping that I will oblige with some more. That doesn't really happen.
Sometimes when you are out in the garden, barking your head off, I manage to sneak in few bakarwadis and chocolates. I feel so happy! Guilt pleasure! And, the fact that I outwitted you also adds to my happiness.
Sometimes I feel sad at having snacked behind your back, so I offer you some biscuits and watch you gobble them up. When I'm in a really generous mood, I give you chocolates too.
What has it resulted in? We are both round and rosy.
Did I refer to exercise and munching less...in the beginning? We have to ignore that.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

German Bakery

The day after German Bakery blast, I got calls from friends in Delhi to check if I was safe. I was 'safe' and 'insulated' from the happening too.
"Yeah...yeah I am okay. It's not near my place."
There was and still is the disconnect with the blast. Maybe I have got too cynical and fatalist.
"If I have to die, then I will die." Sounds cruel perhaps. But life has not been any different for a decade or so. The first time I really shuddered at the dastardly act, and killing of innocents was the 1993 serial blasts which rocked Bombay/Mumbai. I was 11 or 12 and I can recall and even feel the tensed atmosphere and people watching their backs. After that, I think one sorta gets used to such killings - as long as its not me.
Perhaps the terrorists have succeeded. They have succeeded in benumbing the humane feelings and also the cry for justice. Past reports have shown that none of the terrorists or the brain behind the plan or the mastermind, as they say, has ever been arrested.
Some Mehsud gets killed in Pakistan. Does it stop the killings in India, UK, USA, Israel and even Pakistan? Nope. And, it never will.
I am not sure what my reaction is supposed to be? An eye for an eye, but then as Gandhi said An eye for an eye will make the nation go blind. Cynical though I am, I certainly believe in that. Civilians taking up arms or burning with the desire for revenge will not really help. We will lose youth, we will just go back to stone age. Look at Pakistan and Afghanistan - their own citizens are living as refugees. Those who could afford and had the means escaped to other countries like US leaving their own nation in shambles.
I don't want that to happen to India. I don't want destruction, I don't want 'human bodies' living here. I just want us to grow from strength to strength.
I can give no clear cut solutions to others. I don't have any myself. I just want to be able to relive those days when life was peaceful.
I'm referring to the 80s when growing up meant watching He Man and eating mud and cycling and laughing and crying because your sibling beat you or snatched your chocolate. And, not because you have been left behind your sibling. It's not so back in the past. Maybe we can still go back to it. I certainly do.

Friday, 12 February 2010

Harishchandrachi Factory

I saw the movie 'harishchandrachi factory' a couple of days back.
My verdict......ummmmm Not all that great. I think the movie, which was meant as a tribute to Dadasaheb Phalke, the Father of Indian Cinema, has been trivialised.
The foresight, the persistence of the man and the support of his family doesn't really come through. The director's (Paresh Mokashi) attempt to show the trials and errors, the tribulations his family goes through in a light-hearted manner (perhaps the word is 'humourous')falls flat.
There are blunders too.
How could a brown-skinned native sit along with the Brits and watch a motion picture? In 1911? Didn't the Brits have notice board on most of the public establishments - Indians and Dogs Not Allowed.
The characters too are not 'developed'. They are mere caricatures, their roles/contribution in the life of Phalke not fully explored. I wish they would have shown more of the man, Abdullah, the inn-keeper (hotelier/restaurateur) who Phalke meets in London. Same goes for his friend Telang, who becomes the cinematographer of Raja Harishchandra.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

From Venus

This is something which I wrote sometime back


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I was never good at Science, so this concept of 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' never made sense to me. Why talk about planetary influences when living on ground...(earth). I didn't think it was a big deal. Now, that I am four months into marriage, the distinction is slowly becoming clear to me.
I arrived at this conclusion after some 'minor' glitches, which according to my husband were 'blunders'. Talk of opposite poles attracting – I don't know ABC of cars and their body parts. I mistook fan belt for conveyor belt and the mention of BMW motorcycle set me thinking. I had heard of BMW cars, but what so special about this motorcycle?
Then 'Mars' decided that it was time 'Venus' was given some lessons in cars, motorcycles and their engineering – how a two engine powered BMW motorcycle was the best and very rare and is the best example of..... I am not sure if I can recall the rest.
Well, we move on to another touchy topic. Married women generally have to deal with 'other' woman in their husband's life – their mothers. I had to deal with two. His daughter. Ah...uhhhh. Don't get me wrong. Its his dog or should I say she-dog, whom he considers as his daughter. (You see, I could never differentiate a dog from a she-dog)
Unfortunately, I never got along well with the 'daughter'. On my first meeting with her, I fled for my dear life when she tried to come too close for comfort. After four months, I can walk past the daughter, ready to flee if she comes close. I am being urged to pat the dear girl, but for once 'Venus' has dug in her heels and refused to give in to 'Mars'.
Another lesson which I learnt is that there is no scope for sentimentality in a 'Mars' life. He came upon some scattered and withered rose petals, chocolate wrappers under the bed.
“Whose are these? And, why have they been kept under the bed? Just throw them away, will you?”
I was stunned and mortified. “I won't throw them away. The petals...well, you had presented me roses when I agreed to marry you. You gave me chocolate when I was on a diet and had hunger pangs. How can I possibly throw them away?”
Now, it was the 'Mars' turn to be stunned. And, speechless too. He gave me the distinct impression that he thought that I was acting like a henwit. But, he was sensible enough to not voice his thoughts. He was a man of action. He just gathered the petals and the wrappers and tossed them off in the trash bin.
“Next time when I buy you flowers and chocolates, promise me not to keep them preserved for posterity or eternity or whatever it is,” 'Mars' said and 'Venus' nodded.
So much for sentimentality!
I have dealt with cars and the dog (oops, she-dog) and the roses...what else remains? Maybe 'Mars' fastidious views about how 'Venus' should be dressed. That of course is a touchy, touchy topic. “A neatly dressed woman, swishing down in heels, her long plait swaying behind...” that's his ideal 'Venus'.
I object to 'swishing down in heels'. You don't swish down in heels... you go 'tok, tok' in them. My attempts at correcting his usage of metaphor was met with a stern gaze.
Venus has lots to learn, you see.

First steps

Hi!
I always have a had a lot to say and write. This is just a different medium. Hope it works for me.