Wednesday, 21 September 2011

What if's, When and How

Mere sawal, aapke jawab.
Sorry, this isn't the title of some corny Hindi movie, but maybe you really really have an answer to these rhetorical questions which trouble me night and day.
1) What will happen when Amitabh Bachchan dies? (I often think of this when I see the contestants of KBC and their relatives gushing at him. Will there be a riot or a stampede before his house? Will one of his myriad admirers also end his life?)
2) What will happen to Bachchan Bahu, AB's Baby and Jaya ma when Big B is no more? (Oops, I forgot the grandchild)
3) Can the Saifeena's (the name sucks) wedding details and the wedding itself be pre-poned and finished with before it becomes the wedding godzilla? (I for one don't want to know what is darling Saifu and his darling Bebo going to wear on their big day.)
4) Why can't I dream of hogging on marble cake without worrying about the calories and how they will sit pretty on my hips and tummy? (Oh well! I would like to eat all that I can without it showing on my physique - this isn't a dream I am dreaming of, by the way)
5) Do 5 rounds around the park amount to 3km walk?
6) Why do I force myself to sleep for an hour when the sun rays and my conscience are pushing me to sit up and pull on those sneakers and go for a walk?
7) When can I cut my hair? Why aren't they growing? Will I look good in a short hair cut? What about the chubby cheeks then? Will I look like a behenji if I tie my hair in a plait? Why, oh, why can't I decide how I want to look?
8) Why do I dream of shopping when I don't have the money in my pocket?
9) Why can't I chuck what I am doing now and do what I really, really want?
10) Why don't I have the guts to do it?
11) What am I afraid of?
12) Where are my friends?
13) Why do I have to hang around with 40+ ppl?
14) Why are their kids in 20s or maybe even younger?
15) Why don't I fit in either age bracket?
16) Why have I stopped doing things I really like?
17) Why do I always crib?
18) Why does that man stare at me?
19) Why doesn't he go waste his moony-eyed looks on someone else?
20) Why does she go on and on on her phone without us having to hear about the insipid details of her life?
21) How come she has the time to yap away?
22) Doesn't she have any work?
23) I wonder if he has gone for the test?
24) What if he hasn't?
25) Will there be another fight?
26) Will it help if I sulk?
27) What if I can sleep for the entire day?
28) Will such a day come?
29) Will I be happy with only one such day?
30) Will I get an answer to all these questions?
PS: I am not PMSng. I am just thinking and questioning.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Peeping Tom

I have often used google (we all do) to check up facts, stories and other random stuff. Sometimes I have come across bits and pieces about friends and acquaintances - some profile somewhere throwing up some unknown facets. At times like these I have often felt like voyeur - that I am reading something which I SHOULDN'T BE. Some things ought to be private.
I then tried to wash off the guilt by telling myself that nothing can't be private and personal in today's age and after all I wasn't out on a snoopy trail.
Imagine my surprise and shock when I came across my own marriage profile posted on some unknown site. I knew I hadn't registered myself on this site when I was on a groom-hunting spree.
And, yet today when I googled myself, my name, I found this profile. Complete with my name, details and what was I looking for in my-to-be.
I tried hard to find their address/email id so that I could wipe out the profile. I did get numbers and I will call them and do that.
But I wonder if it will actually get deleted.
Fifty years later maybe my grandkid would find a marriage profile of his granny. Hahhaa. Perhaps not. The Internet system would have crashed (or a new superior one would be in place) and all my signs of existence would be truly wiped out!