hopscotch

I tried to catch the evening show of The Japanese Wife. Couldn't get the tickets though. I think I need to attune myself to the changing circumstances. Until the year before last, I could ( or any average joe, jui) easily get into the theatre, buy a packet of popcorn and settle down to watch the movie. Not any longer. Today the multiplex security guards shooed me to the neighbouring mall's parking lot. There was a queue of two-wheelers and cars before and after me. First, they checked my dikki, in which they found a hand bag, desperately in need of repairs. He asked a lady security officer to go through the contents. Meanwhile, another security guard noted down the number of my Activa. Another one asked me to remove my scarf. In between, they waved away an empty auto standing before the mall. (Images of the auto being blown up and all of us being hurt or killed flashed before my eyes). Then I was allowed to go down to the parking lot. Mid way I was stopped again – had to pay ...

A friend out of the blue said that I was screwing up her life. A general remark on her appearance invited the 'screwing up' comment. I was hurt. I didn't particularly mean to be insensitive when I knew what she was going through. Another friend doesn't get the hint - that I have a different priorities now. It's not as if I don't want to be in touch or wish to avoid him. Sometimes I wonder, why do I have to be the 'giver' in any relationship. There are times when I wish to be left alone, but no, there are friends who always wish to take my time. I remember when my mother was ill (I sorta knew that she wouldn't be with me for long, but was running around checking with the docs, hospitals and sanatoriums so that she could recover...) I had decided that I am going to focus on her, be with her that she needs me. But, no, I had to deal with friends who wanted to know why I was in hiding, why I didn't take calls, why I couldn't meet them... May...