hopscotch

Amma... It has been two years without you. I miss you. Sorry for being the 'black sheep' of the family. And for being rebellious, short-tempered and harsh. I am sorry....

Right now, I am feeling very exhausted and tired. But, I don't want to mope or at least whine on this blog. However, nothing nice or cheery comes to my mind... If I could use drawing tools, I would sketch lines representing my thoughts in a criss-cross manner – if you look from far you can see a nice pattern; from close, it will look like a mess or clutter. That's what is the current state of my mind. I am so TIRED. Am I working too hard? Do I need to see a psychoanalyst? Am I tired of pleasing others? How difficult it is to do things I like? Why do I drive people up against the WALL? Why am I not sleeping well at night? Why do I toss and turn endlessly? Why do I babble in my sleep? What is troubling me? --- I have no answer. Only questions.

I had written this for the second edit column --- Today when we step out of the houses, our usual stops are at the multiplexes and malls. Whether one likes it or not, the malls - with their promises of sops, and a 'lifetime experience' - are here to say. With so many new malls, stores, designer boutiques are coming up every other day, there's stiff competition to win more and more clients and customers with 'sales', 'discount rates' and 'membership cards'. It is a haven for both the shopaholics and for those who indulge in it occasionally. But, what dims the 'lifetime experience' is the demeanour of the staff on the floor who are supposed to guide and help you choose from the vast array of stocks. The experience, at least in my case, has been an indifferent attitude, half nods and fingers pointed in vague direction. The plausible reasons, which I have come up with for their downright rude behaviour, are that they are ill at ease in thei...